A slight departure from health and fitness today ;-)
Breakups can ruin your heart and your health. When I broke up with my boyfriend a number of years ago, I was literally ripping my hair out, which I thought I would never do... pulling it out of my head because I had zero control over the situation.
I wanted to make things right, have the right conversation, and make things work to my advantage, and I was so focused on just doing that. I called her so many times, agreed to anything just to meet with him, but he didn't want to go through all the same old conversation again about what caused us to breakup, or talk again about how bad I feel about it, how painful, etc. He didn't want to give me another chance at all.
At some point I realized that my problem was that I was asking for another "chance", which is a stupid thing to ask for. People don't want to date someone that they give chances to, it doesn't work like that. Believe it or not, people actually prefer for their relationships to be on equal grounds, so that there is mutual respect, whether they realize it or not. No one wants to feel like they are giving you the "gift" of another chance—they don't want to be put in that position to begin with. And who want to date someone who is defining themselves as being on the losing end, begging to be let back up? Doesn't sound attractive to me. So that's my first piece of advice... needing "another chance" is a false idea, and it doesn't work in the breakup, so if you take this approach, you will fail.
Eventually I did actually get back with him when I changed my approach. The technique I did is basically what the author of The Magic of Making Upwrites about, and it really does work. I wish I had that book at the time, but I didn't, and luckily I ended up talking to someone who just knew how to do this and was able to tell me exactly what I was doing wrong.
But even today I keep seeing that book all over the web so I figure the advice must be working for people... either than or there's just so many damn breakups that there's no shortage of people needing the advice. Anyway I know other people who have read it and they say it's the right advice, and the same type of advice that I used in my situation. It has mostly to do with having some patience and then trying a totally different form of communication, so that you can "reset" the situation to your favor. You do have to take a different approach, but it's amazing to watch they way it works for people.
It's hard to really describe all the steps, but you can read a review of it on this site: http://www.squidoo.com/how-to-get-back-with-my-ex-boyfriend
Or you can just go to the author's website and get it here: The Magic of Making Up
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